A Major Deal Breaker When Dating

When dating and thinking about building a future with someone it is important to understand their relationship with money. Often when we date someone, we are excited by all the possibilities. The infatuation phase can last a long time. If you are dating some incredibly appealing, we can go through waves of infatuation with every first time together. The first time you go on an overnight trip, have dinner with your parents, discover new foods you both like and so on. This doesn’t leave us much time to discover new things about their financial personality. Your financial first time does not tend to happen until you take the major step of moving in together.

It is at that time you learn about their credit score, salary and debt. You get access to their financial truth.

So, what if your partner is marking low in all these areas?

This can be a tough pill to swallow. It can sour a very exciting time when you are growing your relationship. Let’s challenge your thinking a little bit.

Yes, if your partner is marking low in all these areas you might want to reconsider taking the next step. It is important to rethink moving in together, since you are making a financial commitment in the form of a lease. It will be a hard conversation to have, but in the end, you won’t find yourself in a tough financial situation later.

Now that that is out of the way. I want to reassure you that the relationship isn’t over. Moving in with someone is a big step and should not be taken lightly, but the deal breaker isn’t the poor credit score, low salary or debt.

The true deal breaker is what your partner feels about it.

There are people that see their poor financial situation as an issue and there are those who don’t recognize the impact of poor payment histories and substantial debt. You want a partner that is willing to make a change and shows initiative to move in that direction. Money is a hard thing to talk about, but once you reach a crossroads like the one described above, all the cards are on the table. Confront the hard conversation and see where they stand on the issue. If they show a true concern and drive to change, watch their habits over the next couple of months and keep the conversation going. Working on a major goal together will strengthen your relationship.

What if I am making financial changes? Should I still feel this way?

Yes, you should still feel this way. A partner on the same page will make a big difference in your financial success. Together you can be a winning team if you both work on improving your financial situation, but don't assume they feel the same about making changes. Take your time to learn about them and see them in action.