The Fear of Confronting Debt

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Many us don’t have a true understanding of our debt. We have avoided pulling our credit report for many years. We know the numbers have meaning and they weigh heavy on us. Knowing your numbers is the first step to comforting your true financial reality. Your credit report shows an accumulation of payment history and debt for years. You often hear the advice that you should pull your credit report and finally comfort the truth. But I rarely hear the advice of how to handle the new information emotionally.

When I found out my true debt amount, I was shocked. Unfortunately, I choose the worst possible time to discover the numbers. By the time I did my research I was four or five months into paying off debt. I made real headway. I paid off almost all my medical bills, credit card debt and was getting close to the end of my car note. I didn’t discover the remainder of my debt by pulling my credit report. Instead I decided to call each student loan lender that I had. At the time I had deferred some student loans and I did not have a real picture.

Since I made so much progress, I decided it was time to turn my focus on my student loans. Little did I know I would in for a rollercoaster of emotions. I called each lender and asked what my balance was, how much monthly payments will be after deferment, and my interest rates. After a page of college rule paper filled out front and back, I was comforted with the reality that I was drowning in student loan debt and I did not even know. That day I closed the door to my temporary office and cried hysterically.

If you are like me, you know what this feels like. It was not the first time that year I cried that about my debt, and it wasn’t the last. I felt alone. I felt scared. I felt like a failure. The best word to describe how I felt was defeated. I felt defeated since I made some progress paying off my debt, only to find out I was further away from the goal than I realized.

All these feelings people try to avoid by not pulling their credit report.

It is ok to be emotional about your financial situation. In fact, it that emotional moment that should light a fire under you to change your circumstances.

The rest of the post it dedicated to moving you from a state of deeply emotional tenderness to empowering action.

Allow yourself to be frustrated

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings of disappointment, but don’t let that stop you from moving forward. Sitting in anger with no action will cripple you. In fact, the longer you don’t act, the less in control you feel about your situation. Spend time recognizing your sadness and then start developing a plan no matter how hurt you are.

Look at your debt as data

The conversation of money is emotional, but at the end of the day it is numbers. Start to look at the debt as data. What does this data say about the way you handle money? What can you change to move data in a positive direction? Start to realize that you can change the data.

Identify the pain point

When you look at the data, what is the pain point? What is the one or two things that you are doing that is causing this situation? It could simply be that your lack of awareness prevents your ability to fix your financial situation. The out of sight out of mind approach doesn’t work with money. The more you are aware of your financial situation the more control you have over your success story.

Don’t shift blame

When looking at the numbers be careful not to shift the blame. Don’t say that it is due to other people that you are in your financial situation. While this could be true in some circumstances, for the most part it leaves you powerless. As long as you are the victim it will be difficult to take ownership of your circumstances, which could prevent you from rectifying the situation.

Never forget

Whatever you do, don’t forget or choose to ignore the information. Additionally, don’t forget what it felt like to discover the truth. I often remember what I felt like that day. I will never forget it. When I comforted my situation, I told myself I will do whatever it takes to never feel this way again. I have held onto this throughout the years. I can happily say since paying off debt, I have never felt that way again. It is important to regain your power and commit to not losing it in the future.